Bob is my 80 year old grandfather, but I call him Bob instead of grandfather. Always have. I moved from my parent's house in January 2010 to Bob's house. Bob is eccentric, even as far as old men go. I always appreciated it, but I was never quite exposed to it this much. Now, I want everyone to know about my experiences. You may laugh, but I shake my head. All of these short stories are true. They are not fabricated or exaggerated. They are Bob at his finest. If 'finest' is the right word
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Toenails
Bob gave me $10 to cut his toenails. 9 of his 10 nails are corn kernal yellow. The big toenails are about 3x thicker/longer than the average man's. Accumulated dead skin under each nail compounded my clipping difficulties. It was the nails' texture that finally convinced me that it was a bad deal. Each surface was characterized by crevices, ridges, and gorges that would be a topographer's worst nightmare. I only gagged twice.
